Hug Me Till You Drug Me
by ShnabbyTheMouse
Summary: I want to quit. I need to quit. But without the drugs...it's too much.
1. Chapter 1

(BPOV)

I was officially disturbed. I had hallucinated all kinds of weird things, anywhere from a purple weasel and a hedgehog beating each other to a bloody pulp, to creepy little children with no faces, without even flinching. But this, this had me wanting to run away screaming. Standing on my make-shift, card-board coffee table, a green cockroach in a miniature bikini was basically raping me with her eyes and movements. By movements, I mean air-humping and doing the 'Smack-that' dance jig while looking at me with heavily made-up eyes. No more Acid for me.

I shook my head and left towards the kitchen, the insect clearly offended and shouting at me in what sounded like Latin, to got a cup of coffee, doing my best not to disturb the blue skinned, brown-haired girl who's shoulders were shaking in unmistakable sobs. Though I could almost see the loneliness rolling off of her, I somehow knew that talking would only make things worse. Thankfully, the drugs didn't allow the bad memories to come to the surface of my mind, nor let the depression of seeing such a sight last more than a few moments before the euphoria came back.

As I was walking back to the living room, leaving the coffee after realizing I was only getting it out of force of habit, I noticed the roach had left after realizing she wasn't getting any of this. I was immensely grateful I didn't have that whore to deal with anymore. I laid back down on the couch and watched the fish swim around in his fish tank, I observed intently as, with every pass it made to the right end of the tank, it went completely out of reality before coming back after it passed the stone seahorse I had put in there to keep him company. She was also to fill the void of his ex-lover, but he didn't think I knew about that, so I never mentioned it.

"What's that feel like?" I asked Waldo, named because he enjoyed hiding, as it joined reality once again. He shrugged his little fins distractedly, keeping up his pace/swim around the fish tank.

"What's the matter? You seem…anxious." I was worried about my little pal, he only paced when something bad happened.

"Sparta and I got in a fight, and I said some things that hurt him deep, and now I feel guilty." My poor little fishy sighed, looking down at the artificially colored pebbles. Sparta was the scuba diver, and also Waldo's best friend.

"Just apologize, man. I'm sure he's feeling just as guilty as you are." I advised him. He seemed to think it over for a little bit before a bright grin broke out over his face.

"That's a great idea, thanks Bella." He said before swimming off in the direction of Sparta, I rolled over to give them some privacy, only to be greeted by the skankish cockroach. I screamed and jumped, causing me to fall off of the couch.

"Abyssus meus parum sex cattus." She purred at me, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Hello, and I am not your sex kitten." I replied to her icily. This was definitely one of the hallucinations I could live without. She shrugged all four of her shoulders.

"Haud, tamen vos ero nunc." She laughed maniacally before simply disappearing. _No, but you will be soon._ Not classic villain words, not at all. I shrugged it off before heading off towards the bathroom to brush my teeth, being sure to not look at myself in the mirror. I never looked at my reflection when I was tripping, it always scared the shit out of me. I did, however, manage a glimpse of my image on accident. My brown hair was slightly dull, holding little life to it. My eyes were reminiscent of my hair, except glassy and unfocused. Under my eyes were purplish bags that would might not look as bad as they did, had I not been paler than white-out.

I had just walked out of the bathroom, only to sprint back to the toilet in just enough time to empty my stomach contents into the bowl. I grimaced and flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out before laughing hysterically. I slid down the bathroom wall, the giggle's overcoming me.

"Ahh, I am the vomit breathing dragon." I quoted from my favorite comedian, Dane Cook. This happened every time I got sick, that little phrase was always in the back of my mind and would make me laugh no matter how bad I was feeling.

I could tell the LSD was starting to wear off and it made me drowsy, but I didn't want to sleep. I didn't like sleeping, the night terrors that haunted me would always emotionally ruin me. Well, until I got something in my system to make me forget about it.

I made my way to the kitchen, the sad and lonely little girl gone now, and grabbed the cup of coffee I had left in there earlier, and then proceeded sitting down in one of the two chairs at my kitchen table. I sipped the cold coffee mindlessly, trying to keep the sleep at bay for as long as I could. It had been three days since my last nap, and that only lasted three hours, the bare minimum I needed to be able to actually function. My body was used to running off of the bare minimum.

I rubbed a lazy hand over my face before looking at the clock, 4:23. I decided it was a reasonable time to start getting ready for another school day.

---

I had arrived at the school early, as always, and went to my usual spot behind the building to take a couple of tokes off of the purp I found in one of my abandoned cup-boards, enjoying the harsh sting. By the time I was successfully stoned, the car park had started to fill up with the students of Forks High, so I put out the finished roach and headed towards my first class of the day, Calculus.

School was just another thing I used to distract myself, something to occupy my time with. Just like my two shitty jobs, though those actually came in handy, they provided enough money to get the basics I needed: Rent, food, gas, and, of course, what ever drug I could find that wouldn't have me fucked up for life, but kept horrible things like memories and sleep away.

I watched the teacher move back and forth in front of the room, droning on about something I learned two weeks ago during a long weekend. I needed something to do, the herb was making me a bit jittery, but there really was nothing for me to do, I had already finished the lesson for the day, and listening to the teachers monotone voice or watching his rhythmic pacing was going to put me to sleep. So I settled for the immature gossip of my mindless classmates, there seemed to be an excessive amount today.

"Yeah, I saw them by their car, did you _see_ that tall, blonde one? He was totally playing that whole 'Suffering Poet' ploy." Stanley whispered into her master's ear, Mallory.

"He was nice, but the arms on the curly-headed one…." Mallory trailed off, fanning herself.

"Those guys were _cute_, but that bronze haired one was an eyegasm. Hands down." Tyler Crowley cut in with a wistful expression. Tyler was the only gay guy in this small town, which is why he spent nearly every weekend in Seattle.

I wondered vaguely who they were talking about, but the bell kept me from worrying about it for too long.

My next three classes went much the same as the first, monotonous teachers who would rather be anywhere but here, gossip about five new students, and me trying to find something to do with my hands. You can imagine my relief when lunch finally made it's way around. I got my lunch, an apple and lemonade, and made my way towards my usual table. I noticed five new figures seated at Mallory's table and decided they must be the new kids. I was glad Queen Bitch would have something to distract her and her team of lost puppies from bothering me today, I wasn't in the mood for their crude comment's. Those had been getting old since Sophomore year.

I finished the apple fairly quickly and decided to take a quick nap. The bell would wake me up before I could get into the R.E.M sleep, plus, the weed was starting to wear off. I crossed my arms on top of the table, and then laid my head on top of my arms, I allowed my eyelids to slip closed.

I awoke with a start as the bell rung throughout the cafeteria, signaling it was time for Chemistry. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palm before dumping my tray and heading off towards the class room.

With sleep deprivation, almost everything is ten times harder. Your feet feel heavier, making it harder to walk. Your eye's are always sore, making it harder to see. Your mind is clouded, making it harder to think. With the extra effort you have to put into these things, you neglect other, less important things.

Such as your appearance.

Such as your attitude.

Such as your memories.

I walked into the classroom, and was about to make my way to _my_ lab table when I saw a bronze haired figure sitting in the stool next to my usual one. I knew I had never seen that color of hair before, so I guessed this must be one of the new kids. New kid or not, I get a table to myself. I do not need some simpleton trying to befriend me. I walked up to Mr. Banner, a polite smile on my face. I was going to get out of this the way I always did, using my druggie charm.

"Hello Mr. Banner, how are you today?" I asked him, dropping my paper I wasn't supposed to have finished until next week on his desk.

"Ah, Isabella, I'm quite good thank you. And how are you?" He smiled up at me. All of the teachers loved me, I was the perfect student: Good grades, quiet, the whole shebang. I was, for all they knew, the model student.

I gave a small, sad sigh. "Well, sir, I'm almost perfect." I told him, giving a pointed glance over to my lab table. I could tell that he had been expecting my… unhappiness about this situation. " I don't mean to be a nuisance, honestly. But I'm afraid that a partner will hold me back, you know, slow me down. I'm just thinking about my education." I lied easily, saddening my eyes to make it look like I wished it could be different.

"I know, but actually, Edward is qualified as an AP student in Chemistry, like you. He's very bright, with a little bit more practice, he might be as smart as you." He winked at me. "It will reduce your work-load. Trust me, it's for the best." He said dismissively. I sneered when he wasn't looking and grudgingly made my way over to the table and took the stool next to the bronze-haired guy, who had been staring out the window the entire time.

To say I was angry, would be an understatement.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." A smooth, dulcet voice said from beside me. I looked up from my death glare at the desk to the source of the problem only to be stunned by an overwhelmingly beautiful face looking back at me. I didn't let my shock show though, I kept up my mask of indifference perfectly, as always.

"Isabella Swan." I told him, going back to drawing little jack-in-the-boxes and televisions. I didn't like the name Isabella, it was too formal, but only people I like were allowed to call me Bella. On my sheet of paper, I made one of the Jack's fucking baked.

Chemistry dragged on even longer than usual, partially because the Cullen kid wouldn't stop looking at me. Twenty minutes into class I wanted to pull my hair our. Thirty minutes into class I wanted to scream. Forty minutes into class I wanted to gouge his eyes out. Fifty minutes into class my eye started twitching. I was half way out of the door when the bell finally rung.

I made my way to my last class of the day, English. It was a longer walk than the other classes, considering it was on the complete opposite side of the campus, so I turned my iPod on to keep my mind occupied. I listened to the light noise I frequented and sang along quietly. I kept my iPod on as I took my seat at the back of the classroom. The teacher sent me a death glare and I turned the iPod off after rolling my eyes at her.

The door slammed open just as the bell rung, signaling the beginning of class, to reveal none other then Cullen himself. I looked at the desk beside me quickly, empty. I cursed under my breath as I searched the room for any other empty space for the stalker kid to take, to no avail. I looked up at the ceiling, _your enjoying this, aren't you?_ I thought up to God. I could of sworn I heard a ghostly chuckle, but that was probably just my mind trying to entertain me. I sighed in defeat as Edward smiled at me and made his way to the seat next to me.

"Well, hello again." The beautiful voice I now associated with Newton number two whispered. I liked the new nickname I came up with, however ill-witted it was, it fit.

"Hey." I greeted quickly before acting like I was listening to the lecture, trying to spare a conversation. He, thankfully, got the hint and also turned to the front of the class. I was immensely thankful that this hour I only felt his eyes on me a few times.

I started packing my books into my backpack before the teacher was done with her little lecture. That way, I could be out of class before the others had started to even stand up. I liked to spend as much time as possible away from people.

As I was walking back to my beat up, rusty truck I realized I'd need to get a little bit of sleep today. Things were starting to get blurry, and I was immensely dizzy. Honestly, I didn't even trust myself to drive home. Once I got in the cab of my truck, I decided to go ahead and make a mental list of what I needed to do today.

One, get a couple of hours of sleep, an hour and a half at most. Two, call my dealer, James, and pick up some X and 2CB. Then I had work at Denny's from twelve to four. I attempted to put my key in the ignition, only to find that I couldn't get the damn key to find it. I took a deep breath, this was going to be harder than I thought. I still had a little bit of Purp left, and decided it would be enough to get me home. I looked around the car park first, seeing the only car present was the Janitor's, but me and Vladimir were good buddies, well, in the sense of he'd lend me cigarettes when I was a little Freshmen. None the less, I knew it was safe to smoke a little Cannabis here.

I pulled out my miniature, home-made bong I kept in the car for times like this, and placed the pretty little leaves into the bowl. After lighting it up, I was only able to take two tokes before it had all burnt out, but hey, it was enough. I waited a few minutes for the effects to kick in before starting up the car and making the fifteen minute drive back to the apartment. The first thing on the agenda, sleep.

And, oh, this should be dazzling.

**AN: Ahh! I'm so excited about this story. Just so you guys know, all of the drug information in here **_**is**_** true. No false shit in here. Please review, tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

(BPOV)

I heard a shrill scream, and that's when the fire and metal started to fade away. When that scared, pain-filled face finally started to disappear. I shot up in my bed, my hand slamming down on the alarm clock. It took me a few moments to realize I was still sobbing. Still screaming. I tried to calm down, just a little. I closed my mouth, wiped the tears off of my cheeks, and took a deep breath. The sobbing stopped, but I still had tears gliding over my cheeks, my heart was still racing. I reached over to my side table, grabbing my cigarette pack, and slid one out of the cardboard box. I stuck it in my mouth and felt around in my pockets for my James Dean lighter, It was one of those flip lighters. I found it in my back pocket.

I got up on my knees and opened the window above my bed with shaking hands before lighting it up. I took a long drag, holding it in, letting the smoke slowly destroy my lungs, before exhaling the poison.

Hey, I'm okay with this un-natural decay.

With every drag, the tears slowed, until they eventually stopped falling. I squished the last embers of the Marbalo on the window-sill before flicking the butt in the opposite direction. I took a glance at the alarm clock, 9:18 P.M. I could take my time getting ready for work, but first, I needed to call James.

I, finally, crawled out of bed and headed to the small living room. I grabbed my phone off of the coffee table and sat down on my green, stained couch. I punched in speed dial seven, and waited while the phone rang one, two, three, four times.

"Hello?" The rough, deep voice of James greeted sleepily. James was basically nocturnal, slept all day, and worked during the night. Three A.M. to him, is the same as your three P.M.

"Hey James, it's Isabella."

"Oh, what's up Izzy?" His voice turned sickly sweet.

"The usual. Listen, I need to pick up some things, you have any Ecstasy? Or 2CB?" I asked, going straight to the point. James wanted more than just a seller-buyer relationship, not that he was much of a relationship guy. He was more of a one night stand guy, and that's exactly what he wanted from me.

"Sorry, baby, your going to have'ta wait a few days for those, I'm low in all stock 'till Friday. Wish I could help."

"Four days? But James, I'm out. Of everything. You don't have anything?" I asked in a desperate tone. "Please, James, I'm desperate." I told him as a flashback from my dream came to the fore front of my mind.

He sighed, "Well, I have a little bit of Shrooms, not much at all. But other than that, I just have my personal stash." His tone changed. "Of course, for a small, uh, fee you could get into that." He said in a tone I guessed was supposed to be appealing. I ignored this part of his sentence.

I sighed in frustration, I needed more than that, but if that's all he has, I'd take it. "I'll take the Shrooms. And you can believe I'll be calling Friday night. Meet me at Denny's, the usual time." I said before shutting my phone maybe a little bit too hard.

To say I was frustrated, would be an understatement.

I made my way to my bathroom and turned the shower on before undressing. I let the water heat up before trying to adjust the water. Out of all the things in my apartment, I hated the shower the most. I'd spend five minutes everyday trying to get the water temperature right, but no matter what, it would always be either scorching hot, or freezing cold. Today, I settled for scorching hot. Another thing about the shower is, the showerhead is lower than I am, and that's saying a lot considering I'm only 5'4.

I showered quickly, simply because the water was burning my skin, and stepped out not five minutes after I stepped in. I wrapped a towel around my hair, then another around my body. I went through the routine of getting dressed, and threw my hair up in a ponytail afterwards. I looked in the mirror to make sure I didn't look completely horrid.

I was wearing white skinny jeans with a plain green V-neck T-shirt. I decided I needed to at least brush through my hair, since it looked like a complete haystack, before putting it back up in it's earlier ponytail. I threw my dirty, black and white checkered Vans on, and put my Denny's uniform in my messenger bag. I didn't worry about make-up, not anymore.

It was only around ten-thirty, but I decided I had enough money to get something from the dollar menu at McDonalds since my food supply was about as stocked as my drug supply. You'd think that as much as my father worked, he'd be able to help me out bit, but he never had. Even when I lived in his house, I had to pay for the groceries, though then I didn't have any bills. Even with the bills, the shitty shower, the stains, I'd still rather be in this apartment than that abandoned house.

I grabbed my keys, and cigarette pack since I didn't have a drug to fight the memory of the dream away, and started to head out, slipping a cig between my lips once I was out of the apartment and lighting it on the way towards the stairs. I was on my second cigarette by the time I was in my truck. Chain smoking might not be the healthiest thing in the world, but it's not really like I _have_ much to live for anyways.

I got a Chicken sandwich and medium Cola at Micky-dee's. I hated McDonald's. Every time I eat something from that place I feel sick, especially the fries. Oh dear God those fries make me gag. One of the pro's of cigarettes, they make food taste ten time's better, which is always a plus, but a life-saver at McDonalds.

I arrived at Denny's at 11:30 sharp, but I could already see James' car parked, and James himself sitting on the bench in front of the restaurant. I parked beside the building, as usual, and walked around front to meet James. His lip quirked up on one side when he saw me.

"I could hear your truck from a mile away, Izzy." He said, patting the seat next to him on the bench. I stayed standing where I was and pulled my wallet out.

"It's Isabella, and how much?" I asked him.

"Thirty-five bucks." He said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve my sweetness. I pulled out the bills and waited for him to prove he had the stuff, He pulled out a Ziploc with my sweet escape sealed inside and showed it to me.

"Top notch, as always." He told me, handing the bag over. I took it from him and handed him the three bills.

"Thanks, text me when you get your stock in." I told him before walking into the restaurant and heading straight for the bathroom to change. After I was in my uniform, I placed my previous clothing in my messenger bag before heading back out to my truck to throw my bag in and grab the last cigarette in the carton. I took small, slow drags off of it, cherishing every last puff until the ember got so close it burnt my lip. I dropped the butt and stepped on it before heading inside to clock in.

"Hey Isabella, hun, how are you doing?" Elizabeth, the manager, greeted me.

"Hello Lizzy, same as always." I greeted back with a fake smile. Elizabeth was a nice woman, only about twenty-four, but already married, and had a young boy, a year old maybe. I don't know, could be three years old. Could be a girl.

--

I used half of my tip money from last night to get two packs of cigarettes, since I couldn't show up at school high on Shrooms. Once I pulled into the school car park, wearing the same clothes as last night, I noticed I wasn't the only one early today. There was a silver Volvo parked near the front of the school, must be the Cullen's, no one in the poor little town of Forks had that nice of a car. Well, not a teenager.

I parked in my usual spot, grabbed my backpack and three Marbalo's and got out of my truck, reaching back in for my lighter. I put two sticks in my back pocket, and hung the third between my lips and lit it. I wasn't very cautious with my cigarettes, because they weren't illegal. Sure, they weren't permitted on school grounds, but the worst a teacher would do to me was tell me to put it out. The buzz wasn't doing much to keep the memories away, I'd still see tidbits of melting flesh here, an explosion there, hear a little bit of an agonized scream, but it's not as bad as it would be if I were completely sober.

I sat on the hood of my truck and put my iPod on shuffle. I kept a small look out for faculty member's cars, but other than that, I was completely absorbed in my music. That is, until a small, dainty hand tapped me on the knee. I looked up to see a small girl with short, black hair smiling at me, I pressed the pause button.

"Yeah?" I asked, tapping the cigarette to get the extra ash off before taking another drag.

"Hey, I'm Alice Cullen. I'm going to be your new best friend." She said in a voice like bells.

I raised my eyebrows at her, the Marbalo still hanging out the corner of my mouth. "Really, now?" I asked her in amusement, taking a last drag before putting the cigarette out.

She nodded at me. I let out a chuckle and looked around. I could see her family, over by their car, staring at us. One wore an expression of anger, the female blondy, one had a look of amusement, the burly one, the other had a look of concern, the guy blondy, and the Edward kid had a look of curiosity.

"You know, smoking is bad for you." This 'Alice' character said after a moment of silence.

"Yup." I told her, placing another stick in my mouth, hoping it would irritate her.

"Don't you care about your health?" She asked, her head cocked to the side.

"Nope." I said, lighting it up. She watched me inhale it with a look of curiosity, and that's when I got a great idea. I looked over at her family again, before looking back at the pixie. I took the third cigarette out of my back pocket and held it out to her. "Want one?" I knew the answer before she said it, but I knew it would get her siblings panties all up in a bunch, and who can resist a good argument?

As expected, Alice said no, not really. Also as expected, the female blondy marched right on over. "What" Pause. "Do you think" Pause "You are doing?" She asked me, pointing a finger in my face.

"Well, darling, I'm just being courteous." I told her, taking another long, slow, puff, tap, tap, tapping the ash off the end.

"Oh, Rose, she's just trying to piss you off." Alice said, rolling her eyes. 'Rose' looked at me. I smiled and shrugged.

"Why?" She asked me, irritated.

To say I was having fun, would be an understatement.

"I was hoping you would take Pixie here away." I said nodding toward a now frowning Alice, and put out the last bit of my low-tar. The teachers were starting to arrive.

"Well, in that case…" She said, turning around and heading back to her little group. I rolled my eyes and got up off of my truck, heading for the building, I could barely hear the scrape of a shoe on the pavement, turning towards me.

"Follow me," I told the little pest. "And I swear, I will burn you."

By Lunch time, I started to think I had a different Cullen in every class. 'Rose' was Calculus, Burly guy was Gym, Guy blondy was history, and, of course, Alice was Spanish. I escaped Spanish the earliest I could, and started making my way towards the cafeteria, getting me a slice of pizza and a water, before heading over to my table. The one only aloud to be occupied by me. I sit down and grab my pizza to take a bite when I hear a helicopter. I know most people wouldn't be able to hear inside of a building, but I would be able to hear those blades cutting through the air in a dance club. On most days, it wouldn't bother me, but considering I was lacking any drug, and I had slept last night, I was fucked.

I held my head, trying, trying, trying to keep the mental pictures away, the mental sounds, thinking of anything, just trying to grasp onto something, when a flashback of a camera enters my mind. When I hear a siren going off saying something is wrong, something's not right. That's when I put the last cigarette in my mouth and light it, when I really couldn't care less that I am inside a school building and smoking a fag. The picture fades away, the siren goes silent. And I go outside so I don't get chewed out for smoking indoors, _on school property_.

When I come back in, I appear back to normal, but not nearly fixed completely with just the buzz of a fag.

I now felt absolutely nothing but self-fucking-hatred.

But I still go back to sit at my table and attempt to eat my lunch. I tried to take a bite of my food, but I might as well of taken a bite of mud, I was very nauseous. I got up and walked out to my truck.

There was no way I was going to be able to stay here in this condition.


	3. Chapter 3

(BPOV)

I sat in my apartment, smoking another cigarette. I had already used up the Shrooms after school on Tuesday hoping to get the memory of the dream away. It worked for a while, but I still had to deal with the dream after I came down. So now Here I was, sitting on my couch, three days later, waiting for it to be time for me to go to work.

I hadn't slept since Monday night, and boy was I feeling the effects. It was only 5:30, I had finished my homework and eaten the last pack of Ramen Noodles I had. I had even tried to read, but the words might as well of been gibberish for as well as I was reading them. So here I was, sitting on my couch, drinking a cup of coffee, trying to stay awake. I just lit up my last fag when there is a knock on my door. I sigh and get up, answering the door without even looking to see who it was.

That's where I made my mistake.

"Honey, will you put that cancer stick out?" My aunt Adrienne asked, letting herself into my apartment. I took one last drag before smushing it into my door and throwing it outside.

"Uh, Hey Zia Adrienne." I greeted her looking down, instantly wishing she would of come by Sunday so she wouldn't be stepping into a completely horrid mess.

"Hey, miele, how are you?" She inquired giving me a hug. Though her Italian accent wasn't _that_ strong, you could still clearly hear it.

"Same as usual." I answered, slyly shifting out of her hug. I didn't deserve her affection. "Um, not that I don't enjoy you being here or anything, but, why are you here?"

"I'm here to check up on you, of course." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She got herself a cup of coffee.

"All the way from Tacoma? You could of just called, you didn't have to drive all the way up here." I told her, shaking my head. "You don't have to check up on me at all, I am a big girl you know." I sat down across from her at the kitchen table, taking a sip of my coffee.

She looked at me intently. "When was the last time you slept?" She changed the subject, a mixture of concern and anger lacing her voice.

I didn't answer her, she'd know I was lying if I tried to. "Bella, you can't keep doing this to yourself, damn it." She stood up from her seat and slammed her fist down on the table. I put my head in my hands, I always destroy someone's day. Or life. She sighed, looking at me again.

"Bella, how are you. Really?" Her voice got angry again. "And don't give me any of that 'same as usual' bullshit." Her eyes bored into mine.

I shifted my eyes away and ran a hand through my bangs. I loved my Aunt Adrienne, but she was always so concerned for me, for reasons unknown. I'd rather her hate me, it would be more logical.

"I'm…I'm gonna make it."

She sighed, it obviously wasn't the answer she was looking for. She walked around my kitchen, opening all of the cabinets, then the fridge when she got to it. She then walked over to her purse and grabbed her checkbook.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. You are _not_ giving me any money." I stated firmly.

"Isabella Swan, you have no food, you are completely exhausted, and you're smoking. Just let me give you some damn money for groceries at the least. It's not much, damn it, now just take it."

"No, Zia Adrienne, I am not your responsibility, and you shouldn't want me to be. Why don't you just fucking hate me?!" I searched her face. "I mean, it's only logical for you to hate the mu-"

She cut me off. "Stop it! Right now, stop blaming yourself. Nobody is holding you responsible but yourself. Now take the money." She exclaimed, shoving the check my way.

Today was _not_ the day for this, with no drugs, no sleep, and the nightmare still lingering in my mind, well…

To say my resistance was waning, would be an understatement.

So, as selfish as it is, I took the check, because James would be getting the drugs in tomorrow, because I really didn't have any food, because I was behind on rent, and not having to pay for groceries would be tremendously helpful. So I sighed and took the damn money, because I was weak.

"I…I…Thank you." I told her, not really knowing what else to say. She gave me another hug, which I quickly wriggled myself out of. No matter what she says, I know I don't deserve her affection.

"Listen, miele, I have to run. Sorry I can't stay longer, but I have to work tomorrow." She said, looking like she would rather kidnap me than leave me alone here.

"Oh, it's fine," I said, taking a glance at the clock. "I have to start getting ready for work anyways." I finished, and she was grabbing her purse, then giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Bella, be safe. And please, please, please, get some sleep." She pleaded, her eyes staring me down.

"I will." I nodded. We said our goodbye's before she left. The door had just closed behind her when my phone went off. I walked over to the card-board coffee table, to exhausted to actually care who it was, and hit the call button.

"Hello?"

"Isabella, do I have some good news for you. Guess who's stock came in early?" James' serpentine voice came through the earpiece.

"Please tell me you are not joking." I pleaded, instantly waking up. "Can I possibly pick some up tonight?"

"Why else would I call? I can meet you after two, I'm hanging with Vicky tonight. Where are you working tonight?"

"I'm at Wal-Mart tonight, anywhere from ten-four, as usual." I explained.

"Alright," He paused and I could here pages turning on the other end of the line. "What all do you want?"

"I'm a little low on cash, so for now I'll just take an ounce of Purp. But I'll probably call back on Tuesday, after I get my paycheck."

"Fair enough, see you at 2:30." He said before hanging up. I got ready for work quickly, anxious for 2:30 to come. I threw my pack of cigarette's in my bag, and made a cup of coffee for the road before leaving ten minutes early.

The next four and a half hours went by at an agonizingly slow pace, and it seemed like it had been days when James' finally texted me, informing me that we was waiting out in the car park. I told my manager I was taking a fifteen minute break before heading outside, spotting James instantly, as he was sitting by the doors.

He looked around quickly before handing me the Ziploc, leaving his hand out. I slipped a twenty and a five into his hand. "Thanks James, you're a life-saver. See you later." I told him quickly before heading back inside. I didn't care much to talk to him, he was looking at me strangely, and it creeped me out. I finished off my shift, and smoked what had to of been the best joint of my life afterwards in the Wal-mart car park.

After I got home, I decided it would be a pretty good idea to catch just a bit of sleep, since I was going to be doing nothing _but_ clean and work this weekend. I set my alarm to awake me in two hours, and climbed into my horribly unused bed.

---

I awoke with a start as the horrid screech of the alarm clock went off, saving me from my trip back to the past. I ran a sweaty hand over my face after turning the alarm off. This nightmare was different from the one I had on Monday night, but it was not an unfamiliar one. It seems like I always have the same two dreams, but am always shocked when something happens in them. Always doing the _exact same thing._

I crawled out of bed and did the same thing I did I do after every nightmare. I got fucking baked. Because I didn't want to remember. Because I just wanted to feel something close to happiness. Because I just wanted to. Because it made me feel better.

Afterwards, I decided to feed LSB, because I had completely forgotten to last night, and he was giving me his evil eye. For a fish, he was extremely intelligent. He swam up and ate his little flakes before swimming off into his castle. Oh yeah, he was definitely pissed.

I decided it was time to start cleaning, considering it was already 7:36, and I had to be at work at noon. I started in the kitchen, because it was the worst, and I was planning on going grocery shopping with my aunts money after work.

I began on the dishes, since they were piling over onto the counters, and I couldn't do the floors before the counters. I had a certain way of cleaning, one that some may call a bit OCD. I laid a towel out on the table before washing the dishes, then placed the now clean dishes on said towel. Once the dishes were done, I went on to the counters, and then swept and mopped the floors. After the kitchen was basically clean, I _deep_ cleaned it. I mean, getting an old toothbrush and going at it on the few cabinets and cleaning out the fridge.

After two and a half hours, the kitchen was completely immaculate, and my finger-tips were rubbed raw, but I didn't feel like a complete animal anymore. My stomach decided I was done with cleaning for now, and needed to get ready so I could go out and get some food.

I went to my room and looked around in my scarce amount of clothing only to find that almost all of my clothes were too dirty to wear. The only clothing left being a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark blue scoop-neck. Since I really didn't have a choice, and the outfit looked decent I threw it on before putting my black and white flats on. Almost all of my clothing had been birthday presents from my aunt and uncle when I was around fifteen or sixteen, the rest I had bought myself with money my father would send home for holidays. None the less, they still fit fine, and I really don't give a shit about style.

I grabbed what I would need for work and keys and headed out, locking the door behind me. I decided I would put my fifty percent discount at Denny's to use this morning, since I was to need to be there in a half hour anyways, and ordered myself a coffee and the grand slam breakfast. It was way too much for me, but I could save the left-overs for lunch. I analyzed my food before taking each bite, a trait I tended to adapt whenever I was stoned, and couldn't help but to do it. I had no idea why I did it, I just knew I did.

After I was done eating, I paid the bill and got myself a to-go box to put what I couldn't eat in, before putting it away. I went to change quickly before clocking into my shift, just as I always did.


	4. Chapter 4

(EPOV)

Forks, Washington. Forks, fucking, Washington. Come on Carlisle, I mean really. Alaska was better than this. We had been stuck in this rainy hell hole for just over a week now, and I was missing civilization. I was probably the only one in my family that had not found their niche yet. Emmett was just fine with the other football stars, Jasper had found a book club or some shit., Rosalie was quickly climbing her way to queen of the bitches, and Alice… Well, Alice could fit in _anywhere._

So, like I said before, that just leaves me, all alone, doing the same thing as always. People watching. Watching how other people move, act, speak, whatever, is fun, sure, but everyone gets boring after a while, and since this isn't necessarily the biggest town… Though there was this one girl I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off of.

Bella Swan was the most interesting person I have ever laid eyes on. I mean, yeah, she was drop-dead gorgeous, but it was more than that. When you looked closer you saw her dead, almost always glassy brown eyes, and just underneath those eyes were the darkest under-eye circles I had ever seen, which her pale skin made even more pronounced. She was clever, that much was obvious from Tuesday's early morning show. She had managed to get Alice away from her eventually. Plus, she pissed Rose off.

And that, is _always_ a plus.

Let's skip back to the present. Alice had dragged me shopping with her today, since it was Saturday, and she hadn't gone shopping in a week. She said she had taken me with her today because she needed someone to carry her bags, which she did, but knowing her, she was probably just trying to get me out of the house.

We left early, so we were able to leave the mall by 11:30. We decided to go ahead and grab lunch at Denny's before heading back home. I normally would have problems with waking up at seven o'clock on a Saturday, what with me averaging three to four hours of sleep a night, but Alice was right, I needed to get out of that house. Out of that suffocating, closed-in, town.

I didn't sleep much because I had a mild case of insomnia, and have had it for years. The doctors believe I simply keep myself up, either as a way to rebel, or get away from nightmare's, they don't know, but their pretty positive I'm spending my nights drinking coffee to keep myself awake.

What people didn't seem to get was that it isn't that I _don't _sleep, it's that I _can't_ sleep.

I don't know why, and wouldn't be able to tell you if I tried. I lay in bed, and stare at the ceiling until around three or four in the morning, which is why I need at least one cup of coffee a day to stay alive. Though I usually had two, the second one was to keep me up enough to finish things like home-work. I could always fall asleep, when I needed to be awake. It was just part of the fucked up life of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen.

We pulled into the parking lot at 11:58, I parked next to a familiar beat up truck that immediately had my mind thinking back to the Bella Swan character.

(BPOV)

I sat outside, on the hood of my truck, in the Denny's parking lot. I was doing nothing, not smoking, not high, not thinking, just sitting. It was sprinkling lightly, and the cool drops made me feel awake and calm. I was content, almost happy.

This is probably as close to happy as I'll ever be, but I'll take it.

It was 11:30, and I had a thirty minute break to get something to eat before the lunch rush, but I wasn't hungry. I wasn't tired. I wasn't cold or sick or sad or happy. I couldn't find any emotion in my entire body except contentedness.

I didn't dare think, because I knew that a simple thought could send me spiraling back down into my depression. An image would leave me grasping for a buzz to help me forget. The only sad part about these moments were they always happened when I only had limited time. I couldn't just sit here and wait for my little piece of almost happiness to run out on its own. I had to break it.

To say it sucked major dick, would be an understatement.

I had been out here for twenty minutes, and my phone-alarm went off, reminding me to head back to work. Of course, when I set that alarm, I had intended on going somewhere. Then _this_ happened, and I don't even remember how. I sighed, being pulled back into the real world is never fun, and turned off the alarm. I decided I would need to eat something, so I grabbed a granola bar out of my truck and enjoyed it in the cab. The natural high had still not completely left, so I was almost disgusted with the though of ruining it with drugs.

I didn't like doing drugs, but to me, it's the only way to get through the day. I am weak, and can't handle my own personal reality. If it hadn't of been for the accident years ago, I doubt I would of gotten into drugs. As a matter of fact, I used to hate drugs. I started when I was fourteen, my friend Alec was a druggie, and told me about the escape you get when your high. I, naturally, was curious. I didn't like always being down, and always thinking of the past, maybe this would be a way to get out of it. We went over to his friends place, and that was when I first got high on weed. It was maybe a week later that I had my first dose of Shrooms. Then the Acid trip came a couple of weeks after that.

He slowly worked me up, and even offered me Heroin after a few months. I told him I had no interest in being a fourteen year old Heroin addict, and he told me good, he didn't want me to get into the hardcore, majorly addictive drugs, even he wasn't into them. I still see Alec every now and then, he moved to Seattle, so it's a bit harder to hang out.

When I was sixteen, I tried to stop doing drugs all together. A couple of days later, I fell asleep, and that made my will power shake, and start to crumble, but I still kept clean for another a few more days. Until I had to sleep again, and had such a vivid nightmare that I still remember it exactly two years later. I reached under my bed, and pulled out an Acid tablet. I hated myself even more, I had become addicted to drugs, and it took that one week to realize it. As I rode out my trip, I kept thinking about it, and I realized, I'm not addicted to drugs. I'm addicted to forgetting.

It was now exactly 11:56 and cars were starting to arrive more frequently , so I decided to head on into the restaurant to help with the rush that was well on it's way. Yes, call it suicide, but I went into work, on a Saturday, during the lunch rush, completely sober.

I quickly went to the bathroom to make sure I didn't look like complete hell, and then walked out into the restaurant.

"Oh, Bella, thank God you're back." Elizabeth said, with a relieved expression.

"Yup, where do you need me?" I asked, feigning a smile.

"Start on table three, but there are sure to be more soon." She said, walking off to a new table.

I sighed and grabbed my notepad before heading to table three, right before I got in their line of sight, I put on the fakest smile I have worn in a while. "Hey, welcome to Denny's, my name is Bella and I'll be your server this afternoon, can I get you guys something to drink?" I asked, setting the menu's in front of two people, not even looking at them. When I did finally raise my eyes to them, the little Bella in my head just screamed,_ Fuck! _I just had to be assigned the table with Edward and Alice fucking Cullen. My face didn't show a thing my mind was saying.

Alice's face broke out into a broad smile, and my eye twitched. "Hey Bella, I didn't know you worked here, how have you been?" She asked enthusiastically.

"Same old, same old. And you?" I forced myself to ask. I wasn't going to lose a tip just because one of the most annoying human beings in all of Washington was who I was serving.

"Pretty good, Edward and I just went shopping." Her smile widened.

I looked at Edward. "Hmm, is that so?" I didn't give a fuck, but I pretended to. For the sake of money. "Is there anything I can get you two to drink?" I asked again, trying to speed things along.

"Of course, I'll have a Sprite"

I looked at Edward expectantly, and he was looking at me with a curious expression. He seemed to snap out of something and smiled a crooked smile that made my stomach drop.

_Holy fucking hell._

"Fanta?" He was asking if we even carried it, since a lot of places didn't. I smiled and nodded. I smiled because it wasn't the most requested drink, for reasons unknown to me. Fanta rocked some major socks off. "I'll have that then." I wrote it down.

"Okay, I'll be right back with a Sprite and a Fanta." I told them as I headed over to the soda fountain. I took a deep breath, it could be worse, right? I could be serving Queen bitch and her line of loyal followers. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, Elizabeth walked in.

"Table six is your's now, too. Sorry. A bunch of teenagers." She said as she hurried out again. I didn't even have to look.

"Every time I try to be just a smidge optimistic…" I grumbled under my breath as I finished filling the two glasses. I walked out to the Cullen's table and set down their drinks.

"You two ready to order yet?" I asked in a polite voice. They both shook their heads.

"No, not yet." Alice said, still looking over the menu. I thanked God for that little bit of luck, it gave me time to go to table six and get drink orders.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit to see if your ready." I smiled quickly, and left towards the next table.

Surprise, surprise, it was just a few familiar faces. I put on the fake smile and repeated the usual line. I looked up and, as expected, Lauren was smiling arrogantly. I could easily read what that smile meant. 'Ha, _I_ don't have to work.'

I wasn't surprised to see Blondie Cullen there, but I was surprised that she was the first one to talk. That was always Queen B's job, then again, she might very well be. "I'll have a Diet Pepsi."

"Me, too." Lauren, Jessica, and Tyler all chorused together. Yeah, Blondie was definitely the new leader.

"Is Diet Cola alright?" The three turned there head towards Rosalie in question. She shrugged and nodded, so everyone else nodded, too. "Okay, I'll be right back with those." I said as nicely as I could.

I went to the back and filled up four glasses with Diet Cola, and just because Lauren deserves it, I spit in one of them. I looked into my memory to remember the seating of their table and placed Laurens in the appropriate position on the platter that I carried out. I then thought again, and placed the cup where Jessica sat instead.

I went out and sat all of their drinks down, and, as I expected, Lauren traded drinks with Jessica and smiled at me smugly. I looked at her in mock confusion, though she would never know the difference, before acting like I was shaking it off. On the inside, though, I was laughing my ass off. Lauren thought she was smart, thought she was clever, but in actuality, she was a dumb ass.

"You ready to order?" I asked Lauren first.

"I just want a fruit salad and some toast." She smiled and closed up her menu. I moved my eyes to the next person.

"Same as she's having." Said Jessica. I nodded.

"Ham and Cheese omelet." Tyler smiled and handed me the menu. He was my favorite one of the lost puppies.

I saved Rosalie for last, because I knew she was different than the other's, and would actually order _food, _and this would cause them all to squirm. "I want two eggs, easy up, two pancakes and some hash browns." She smiled at me, and the other girls started their squirming. Allowing me to smile back with a bit of truth.

"I'll go put the orders in." I said before heading towards the kitchen. Rosalie had my respect, I might not like her exactly, but I respected her. Which was more than I could say for her posse. As soon as I got through the doors of the kitchen, I laughed my ass off. The cook, Jack, looked at me in confusion.

"Teenage girls are so much fucking fun to mess with." I laughed out.


	5. Chapter 5

**(BPOV)**

After getting off at eight, I took my pretty little paycheck down to Winn-Dixie to get it cashed. As usual, the pay check left very little money for the things I want…need. By very little, I mean about ten bucks but, luckily, I had other ways of getting money. It just required me going home, showering, and maybe smoking a joint.

Definitely smoking a joint.

After my quick laugh at Lauren's expense, it was basically suck ass the rest of the day. Lauren's group left a decent tip for their order. Not good, by any means, but it wasn't a tip made out of change like I would expect from a person like her. I had a feeling this had to do with Rose.

Edward and Alice were…friendly, mainly Alice. She's very talkative, happy, and animated, talking with her hands a lot. She asked if I wanted to "go on a cinema adventure" with them, after I got off work. I, thankfully, had a good excuse for declining and told her I still had to work for another seven and a half hours. "Oh, well, maybe another time." She replied. I stupidly nodded and went back to work.

I pulled into a Taco Bell drive-thru and used the handy eighty-nine cent menu to stay in budget. After quickly scarfing down the burrito, I decided it was time to head back to the apartment. As I turned my truck on, I noticed the loveliness that was my gas meter, the lovely white needle pointing at 'E'. Fuck me sideways, why does the world hate me?

Don't answer that.

After a little calculating I decided I could squeeze in ten bucks worth of gas, it would hopefully be enough to get me to Port Angeles and back. I drove across the street and pumped a quick ten dollars, before finally heading back home stopping at the bank on my way home to cash my aunt's check.

I quickly showered and got dressed before drying my hair, throwing on my pin-stripe hat, and picking up my moneymaker. I headed back out to my truck, placing my bit of cargo in the passenger seat carefully, before driving off towards Port Angeles. I hooked my iPod up to the line-in I had bought for my truck. The kind that you put in the cassette player and then hook into your iPod. I put it on shuffle and listened to the lovely Heroin-addicts that made up the band Northstar. The iPod used to be Alec's, but his 'rents bought him a new one, so he gave this one to me. Every time I went over to his place, I'd download any new songs I'd come across, and he'd introduce me to awesome bands he had discovered. We'd get baked out of our minds, and listen to music all day.

I pulled into the Port Angeles Park car park and grabbed my guitar case before slamming the door to my car shut. It was Saturday night, Port Angeles is the closest thing to a city that about four or five small towns have. I was sure to be able to make a couple of bucks tonight. I walked to the middle of the park with my lovely guitar case in hand and found my usual bench, right next to the small, man-made pond and set my case down, getting my guitar out and tuning it up a bit. I played a few chords to get used to things before turning the case around and opening it, my street performing license taped to the top just in case a cop walks by. I loved how, now-a-days, you have to have a license for _everything_. Yard sales, Fishing, even having a fucking dog.

I started to play an easy song to start off with, Twist and Shout. I had a few dollars by the time the song was over. Yeah, tonight was a good night. I sat out there and played for hours, singing along all the while. Sometimes people would sing along, sometimes people would tell me to get a real job and stop loitering the park, in which case I would play louder, and sneak a 'fuck you' into the song I was currently playing. By the end of the night, I had racked up about thirty dollars, and I couldn't feel my left hand, and my voice was hoarse. I decided it was time to head home, but as I was putting my guitar in the car, I saw a Wal-Mart sign and remembered the check my aunt had given me for food, and sighed. I hated grocery shopping.

I decided I would wait until I got to the Forks Wal-Mart to do my shopping, and pulled out onto the highway that would lead me to the small, dreary town I was forced to call home.

---

It was now 3:24 A.M., and I was walking into my apartment for the fourth time in ten minutes, carrying the last few bags from my truck and bringing them to the kitchen. I hadn't realized at the time exactly how much money my way too generous aunt had given me for groceries until I got to Wal-Mart. For a couple with a kid or two, a hundred and twenty-five dollars may not be much for groceries, but for a single, eighteen year old druggie, it was extremely too much. I spent all but twenty-five dollars of it, deciding to save that for when I needed to get one of the customary things like milk or bread or whatever. Since I had so much food at home, I decided I would start bringing lunch to school, therefore cutting that cost out of my budget.

I decided that I should start cleaning since I had nothing else to do, but first, (three guesses as to what I'm going to say next) I rolled a joint. I know I am probably going to die before I turn thirty, but, damn, the effects are just too good. Really, how I had survived in that small period between my mom and Alec was beyond my realm of thought. After I was successfully faded, I decided to get to work on the living room. This room took much more time to clean, considering I would stop every few minutes to stare off into space, play with LSB, or something else equally distracting, but after an hour, I was done, it was five A.M., and I had nothing else to do.

Okay, that was a lie. There was still the bedroom and bathroom to clean, but I just really didn't feel like cleaning anymore. No homework. Already high. Nothing to do. It was these reasons I hated weekends. It was times like these that I wished I wasn't so lonely. I decided to go for a walk around town. I was sick of this fucking apartment. I grabbed the necessities: jacket, phone, and pack of cigs, included with lighter, and set out. Once I was down the stairs and out of the parking lot, I looked both ways down the abandoned highway, trying to decide which way I wanted to go, Left or Right? East or West?

Or was it North or South? I didn't fucking know.

I chose left, going farther into the tiny city Forks rather than away from it, and I walked. And walked. For about two hours. I wasn't even in Forks now, I was just outside of the city limits when I felt a drop of water land on my hand. Then another on my face, and then a fucking downpour started. I quickly moved my phone and cigs to the inside pocket of my jacket before putting my hood up and turning to start walking back home when a rod of lighting struck a tree not fifteen feet away from me.

To say I hauled-ass, would be an understatement.

The thunder that came after the lighting strike almost scared the piss out of me, and I decided, fuck it, I couldn't make it back to town alive so I turned on to a hidden driveway and ran up the forever long path. After what felt like an hour, though it was probably only about two minutes, a clearing opened up and in front of me was a big, eighteenth century styled house right in front of me. I prayed a quick, silent prayer that they would be normal before jogging up to the door and ringing the doorbell. It was one of those long, elaborate doorbells that seemed to go on forever. Another crash of thunder emanated a swear from me and I mildly frantic knock at the door.

Of course by mildly frantic, I mean borderline hysteric.

A pale man with golden hair and, to be blunt, a hot facial structure answered the door and he looked at me semi-quizzically, semi-sympathetically. "Can I help you?" He asked gently.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry, but, uh, it kind of just started cats and dogs out here while I was on a walk and I literally was about two feet away from getting struck by lightning, do you mind if I stay here till it calms a bit?" I asked quickly, stuttering as always. "I'm not a creeper." I added, wondering if that therefore made me a creeper, instead of reassuring him.

He laughed slightly. "Of course, come on in." He said, sidestepping so I could get in. "I'm not a creeper, either" He added, and I smiled.

"Bella Swan." I introduced myself so as not to be completely rude.

"Carlisle Cullen." He held out his hand, and though I shook it, I mentally strung out every swear I knew. Of course I chose the Cullen residence. Why the fuck not? I then noticed his attire: black slacks with a blue button-up shirt, a tie, and a white coat with a nametag on it saying "Dr. Cullen.". He was about to go to work. That's when I realized it was about seven in the morning.

"Oh, dude, sorry. I totally didn't realize how early it was, I didn't mean to keep you from work." I apologized quickly, wondering what I was going to do next. He obviously needed to get to work, and he wouldn't leave a complete stranger in a house with his sleeping family in it, which meant I had to leave, which meant I had to go back out in the rain, which meant I was dead.

"Oh, not a problem at all, I don't have to be in for another hour, really. You go to school with Alice, don't you?" He asked as he led me into what turned out to be the kitchen. He sat down at a chair, and I sat in the one opposite of him.

Shit. You know that thing your parents tell you about when your little, about how actions have consequences? Yeah, I had a feeling this was going to be one of those times. "Eh, yeah, yeah, and Edward's also in my grade." And Rosalie. And two other guys. How did this dude end up with five kids that were all in the same grade?

"Yes, Alice is quite fond of you, but from what Rose says, you find her a bit…overbearing?" He said with a chuckle I looked up in shock, causing his chuckle to turn into a laugh. "Don't worry, I understand. Alice can be quite a character."

I forced a smile, still feeling awkward. "Well, it was really just the first day, I wasn't really in a good mood that day, and I kind of took it out on others. But she stopped by the diner that I work at yesterday and she was nice to talk to." I said, hoping that would make up for my rudeness on Alice and I's first encounter. He smiled and nodded, and I took that as an acceptance.

An awkward silence ensued afterwards in which case I was kind of just looking around, taking in all of the elaborate paintings, expensive appliances, hell, even their pots and pans hanging from the ceiling screamed "Loaded!", all the while, Carlisle sat there, reading the paper quietly. Maybe it wasn't awkward, I just thought it was. Of course, that thought was diminished when I realized his eyes weren't moving, indicating he wasn't really reading it.

I was about to try and find a topic to talk about when the two boys that I didn't know walked in, dressed in gym clothes, obviously about to head to a gym. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if they had their own home gym, either. The tall blond one looked at me quizzically, but it was the burly one that spoke. "Hey Isabella, how's it goin'?" He asked, as if it was normal that I was here. The fact that he knew my name, but I didn't know his didn't exactly sit well with me.

"Eh, fine, I guess." I replied, shifting awkwardly.

"No offense or anything, but why are you here?" The blonde one asked, though not rudely, just curiously.

"Rain. I was out on a walk and it started lightning and I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it to town so I stopped at the first house I saw." I explained, rubbing the back of my neck. Though it was a rather logical explanation, I still felt kind of odd. He nodded before catching a water bottle and breakfast bar that the burly one tossed to him.

"Well, Alice should be down here soon, she was finishing up her make-up last time I saw her." He stated with a roll of his eyes.

"Come on, Jasper, we still got to run by your place since you can't remember to pack tennis shoes." Burly dude urged him. Whoa, now that statement confused me, I thought they all lived here. Jasper complied and gave a wave to me and told Carlisle he'd talk to him later before following burly guy out of the kitchen.

As soon as they were out of earshot, I turned to Carlisle. "I thought they all lived here with you?" I stated it as a polite question.

He looked mildly stunned. "Oh, of course not, Rosalie and Jasper live with their parents down the street. Mr. Hale and I have been best friends since kindergarten, if one of us gets a job offer, neither will accept until the other gets one, too." He explained.

"Oh, well, that's just the things I was hearing at school. They must of just heard of one new doctor moving in." I shrugged.

"Oh, it's probably because he's a morgue technician. Doesn't spend much time with live people." Carlisle told me, folding his paper and setting it aside.

"Right. So how did you manage to get three teens all in the same grade?" I inquired, trying to keep another silence at bay for as long as possible.

"Ah, yes. Well, Emmett was held back a grade freshmen year due to bad grades, so that's why he and Alice are in the same grade. Edward was adopted into the family when he was ten, and he's only two months older than Alice, whom we adopted in two years earlier." He clarified.

"Did I hear my name?" Alice asked as she walked into the kitchen, not looking at all surprised to see me sitting at her kitchen table.

"Bella and I were just talking about how our family came to be." He told her as he stood up. "I've got to go to work, it was nice meeting you Bella." He said politely before giving Alice a hug and going in the same direction that Emmett and Jasper went. Bella, why did I introduce myself as Bella? I never do that anymore, I'm Isabella to almost everyone now.

"That storm is crazy, huh? The thunder woke me up way too early this morning." She said while grabbing an apple. "Want anything?" She asked, turning to me.

"Uh, no, no thanks. I'm fine." I didn't know what was up with these people, if I woke up to find someone I hardly know in my kitchen, I'd at least ask what the hell they were doing there. Emmett and Alice acted almost as if they expected me or something. She shrugged and sat in Carlisle's previous chair and I looked out the window, hoping the rain had lightened so I could get out of here and escape these awkward moments that I seemed to attract like bees to flowers.

It was raining, if at all possible, harder.

"Don't worry, you're totally welcome here. Like I told you, we're going to be best friends." Alice said assuringly, obviously noticing my movement.

"Er, thanks." I almost whispered. I didn't really like being here, these people had the advantage of home field, where as I was on uncharted territory, but they were nice enough to give me a place to stay for an hour or so, so I was forced to be grateful. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but why do you keep saying that? That we're 'going to be best friends'?" I asked, using air-quotations.

She smiled at me, but it was the kind of smile that told me she wasn't going to answer me. Not fully, at least. "I just know some things." She answered vaguely, tossing the finished apple core towards the trash can, and pumping her fist in the air when it went in. "Hell yeah, I am good." She celebrated, flicking her shoulder the way a pimp would, causing a chuckle from me. "Come on, lets go get you changed, you're soaked." She got up and motioned for me to follow her, so I did, feeling awkward as always.


End file.
